I guess this is growing up. Tear stained pillows every night, staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for the text that will never come. Wishing for impossible things, like narrower thighs or prettier hair. It’s a vicious cycle of being too scared to help someone else, and feeling abandoned by everyone when they are the same. Growing up feeling self-conscious enough about yourself to break down crying in the school bathroom, and the horrible panicking that comes when you realize you forgot your eyeliner at home. When your parents are screaming at you about your grades, and screaming at you because you came home drunk, and screaming at you because they hate your friends, and you just can’t do anything right. I don’t think ill ever know if its just me that is passing time like this so painfully, or if I’m just crying over something that everyone can be so brave about.