lykomgshekin.

I’d love to tell you that I miss you more than these texts could ever come together to word out, but I wont, and I surely never will because sometimes “I miss you” is just another phrase like “I love you” overused and under felt, and never steals your breath quite like it does in person. The two phrases that no matter how much I try, I could never write words for let alone say them aloud to you when you fly across this country again, for the true meaning behind them could only be read if you were to retrace your footprints and follow them back to where yous first realized that i liked and cared about you underneath all the cobwebbed feelings that i kept to myself. So retrace them and you’d find the place that I hide so well that you’ve already looked at curiously and thought nothing was there, you’d find your spot in my heart.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush 

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I sit here and I watch this writing suddenly appear on this screen as my peripheral vision showcases my hands tapping away vigorously. Where is it coming from? Sure ain’t my heart, but then again my minds been closed for so long, numbed with the boredom of this atmosphere. I want to get away from this world we’ve created so badly, but then again this is life, this is reality, this is the rest of my god damn life, and you’re playing in it with me too. We’re sipping the drinks, kissing those strangers, slurring those words. You’re telling her you love her and you think she’s cute out of niceness, she takes it all too seriously and the rest is history. Suddenly you’re a bad guy, a player, all because you told someone she’s cute too. But you know your not bad inside, or a player, they really both were just cute. “But hey, why not just play along and be an asshole to the rest of them?” yeah, that’s right. I’m chewing on this bottle cap now. I swear I’m not even thinking. It’s like words just pour out of my hands, maybe my mind is in my hands and that’s why I can never explain myself enough emotionally let alone any other way unless its through a keyboard and this damn screen that’s still writing for itself in front of me. You know what… Blah blah blahhh. Haha, wow, I thought that purposely and bam, it writes it for me! My mouths getting pretty full of saliva now, this caps pretty good, damn you know what? That means I’m going to have to actually drink the rest of the water bottle, ahh you can’t have everything. I sit here, and I miss having that person to cuddle on cold nights like tonight, that same person that as much as I’ve tried really is irreplaceable in a world of boys that are too busy creating awkward silences but yet I’m too damn stubborn to give up this city. I really do love it here, I wish I could share even just one more day with you… maybe I really should just follow my minds train of thought and move. But what happens when I do? What about my family? My friends; my bestfriend especially? What if I move, what if helping you breaks me truly? I wish things weren’t so complicated because I’m at my worst when you’re not here. And I’m sure I can’t be anymore broken. I’ll never let you know but I’ve given you me; my heart, my soul, my smile, my everything and it’s all for you to use until you’re at your best. It’s like nothing else could matter now that I’m with you. That boy, that man, that kiss meant nothing because it’s your kiss that means something, it’s your hugs that mean the most. It’s your eyes that catch the sunlight and reflect me looking at you through them, not his, or hers, or anyone else’s. It’s your neck that I bite the way that I do, it’s our embrace that I exhale to the way that I do. It’s you that makes this moment one to remember. It’s that still gives me butterflies two years down the track.